


wildflower

by mariesee



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:09:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27440095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariesee/pseuds/mariesee
Summary: In the year 1987, a gardener and an au pair fell in love. Their story ended tragically. Their love wasn't meant to last. But, sometimes, the most unexpected happens. Sometimes, love gets a second chance.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 21
Kudos: 126





	1. a wedding

_Saturday, Jun 30th, 2007: Roseville, California_

_A beautiful sunrise colored the skies of an early morning in Northern California. People were already making their way down the streets, mailmen were proceeding towards the next house over and birds made their songs known to the world. The entire city seemed to have taken a collective breath, ready to start this next day._

Jamie Clayton slowly opened her eyes as she stirred awake. A few strands of her graying hair twirled down, softly tickling the base of her neck as she sat upright. Her back protested and ached, but she seemed to pay it no mind. Seemingly, she was very used to this feeling. The chair she has been sleeping in shifted back somewhat as she got up and stretched out her arms above her head, blinking tiredly. Small streaks of sunlight shone through the slightly opened sheer curtains, basking her hotel room in a soft golden glow and warming up small patches of the carpet. The older woman stepped forward, her bare feet feeling the soft canvas underneath and she slowly closed the open hotel room door in front of her with a soft click. _She_ wouldn't be coming to visit her during the day, Jamie knew. Only at night. And this had been another night she hadn't.

Realizing this, the woman let out a sigh that seemed to come from deep inside her chest. Why had she never come home? She should have been here, at this wedding. Jamie remembered the previous night's rehearsal dinner with a soft, melancholic smile, thinking about how beautiful the little Flora looked in her dress. "Well, not so little, anymore, I guess." She added in her head.

Today was sure to be a beautiful occasion as well and she was glad that she had decided to attend, even though she had definitely had her doubts the days leading up to it. She embarrassedly remembered how she had told a story the previous night after dinner.

Well, not just a story. _Her_ story. Though she wasn't planning on it, it had felt pretty good to get it off her chest, admittedly. She hadn't talked about any of this in a long while. And while the children didn't remember, she felt she had done her job making sure that it wasn't forgotten. That _she_ wasn't forgotten.

She softly smiled, her eyes twinkling a bit at the thought of her person. Her Dani. "You know what, _Poppins,_ I really, really tried. It's not fair to you. They should remember. What you did for them." Her voice was still a little thick with sleep as she spoke, the silence filling up the room. Apparently, she was not expecting a reply, because she quickly moved towards the bathroom to wash up and eventually got dressed.

The breakfast served was divine and Jamie enjoyed every last bit of it. She was drinking her coffee absentmindedly, having just come back from grabbing another piece of french toast. 'Flora', who was now called Olivia, and her fiancé Jack had now joined the breakfast table as well. Both of them lit up the entire room with their happiness and excitement for the day to come and the older woman couldn't help but feel slightly jealous. A wedding day. The happiest day in one's life. And yet...she had never been allowed that much. Life was truly cruel, wasn't it?

She thought it over somberly as she took small bites of her toast, not really hungry anymore now but not wanting to be impolite and spoil good food. She barely noticed when Owen sat down next to her, looking at her with interest and concern as she squeezed her knee to gather her attention.

"Well, you sure look like someone took a shite in your coffee." He laughed softly at his own joke but his smile soon faltered when he realized the other woman didn't seem to find it very funny.

He slowly followed her gaze, which was absentmindedly passing over Flora and her betrothed. Letting out an understanding sigh, he leaned closer to her.

"Listen, I know it's hard, dear. But...you know...everything here…" He made a big mentioning gesture as if addressing the whole room. "This whole day is only possible because of _her._ Because of what she sacrificed." His voice had always had this calming nature and Jamie realized that even after all these years, it still affected her positively. "Your story was lovely, by the way. Last night."

She eyed him as he smiled softly at her and laugh-lines appeared around his eyes. They really were getting older, Jamie recognized. She let out a long sigh before replying.

"I _know_ that, but...it's just not fair. She should have had a day like this. _We_ should have. She didn't even get the chance to fucking live. She wasn't meant to just be an old ghost story at a wedding." Her tone was bitter and her accent became especially thick. She could sense the wedding guest on the opposite side of the table eye them with interest and she shook her head slightly, a fake smile she was very familiar with appearing on her face.

"Whatever. I'm still glad I came. She looks fuckin' beautiful." Jamie nodded her head towards Flora. "Who knew that creepy kid would grow into such a marvelous, beautiful woman."

Owen nodded at her approvingly, apparently convinced that she was okay for now, or at least pretending well enough to be.

"I know! Even Miles has grown into a respectfully handsome young man. Or William, should I say?" He chuckled, getting a little more comfortable in his chair.

Jamie shrugged, her hand up in the air with a questioning gesture. "Yeah, about that, why the hell did that bastard Henry decide to change their names? Wasn't moving to another continent enough?" She rolled her eyes slightly and chuckled.

"I mean, he just wanted a fresh start for them, I guess. Can't blame 'em." Owen's eyes slightly glazed over and Jamie knew where his mind had gone. They were silent for a bit, both thinking.

"She would have loved this, you know." Jamie whispered eventually, trying to be supportive. "Hannah."

She could see Owen was struggling, thinking about the old house-keeper. She put her hand on his supportively. "Yeah. She loved those kids to the moon and back. I'm sure she's here...in a way. Watching over us, with that sweet smile she had. She wouldn't have missed this for the world, are you kidding?" She added and patted his hand.

Owen nodded slowly and then cleared his throat somewhat awkwardly as another wedding guest came to sit down next to him, interrupting their moment. "Anyway, let's just get through this, yeah? I'm sure the drinks are divine. And there should be music."

Jamie nodded, now flashing Owen a genuine smile. "I'll see you around."

The morning had gone by rather slowly, with more wedding guests arriving in small clusters. Jamie watched them with interest, finding it quite remarkable how many people Flora had managed to meet throughout her life. The young girl greeted all of them with a big smile and seemed to spend a little energy and time on making sure everyone got to their designated place okay. For Jamie, that was unimaginable. She kept to herself. For most of her days, her only companion was her cat, Blondie. And her plants. Those were easier than people, anyway. It took her an enormous amount of energy to even be here, let alone talk to any of the other guests. They luckily left her alone for the most part, so it wasn't that bad. She figured they were all quite interested to see that she had come by herself, being one of the only few older people without a partner.

She had tried dating, of course. But after Dani, nothing, no one, was the same. It always felt like something was missing, some part of her. Jamie felt like an alien most of the time, a person from the outside looking in. And she was okay with that, she thought. "You don't need a relationship to live a full life." She had told herself over and over again, eventually starting to believe it. The irreversible truth was, she had met her person, her soulmate, already. And then lost her. Forever.

"No matter." She muttered to herself as she turned around and went to get another glass of champagne.

* * *

When it was time for the ceremony, all the guests were ushered over to the designated room. Chairs were lined up perfectly in rows, almost too perfect, Jamie noted a little annoyedly as she went to sit down in one, Owen to her left. She crossed her legs and sunk down ever so slightly in her chair to get comfortable. This was going to be a long ride, but it would be worth it, hopefully. She looked around the room almost lazily, taking in the sight before her.

Flowers, fairy-lights and other decorations were lining the walls and Jamie nodded approvingly when she had distinguished that the white roses were actually real, not those plastic fake ones. The woman guessed that there had been no cutbacks for this wedding and she couldn't even imagine how much it must have cost. However, such a day generally happened only once in someone's life. Or twice.

She chuckled to herself soundlessly. She would have done it so much differently. Small, private. And a lot more flowers. Maybe somewhere outside, if the weather allowed it. But she guessed that she probably wasn't a very good wedding planner, so she shrugged and promised herself she would just enjoy the view and not complain so much.

After waiting a bit, music had swelled up in the room. There was a band in the corner of the room and the director swung around his directing stick somewhat aggressively.

Violins went into a crescendo as the doors in the back of the room opened. Heads swiveled around to look at the people who had appeared in the door opening. Firstly, some beautifully dressed bridesmaids, each holding a bouquet of flowers, slowly walked down the aisle. Jaime figured these were Flora's friends. They lined up at the altar, standing in front of the first line of chairs. Then, Jack appeared, a single white rose tucked into the front pocket of his suit. She particularly noticed how shiny his shoes were and smiled as the young man made his way down the path nervously towards the altar, turning around with his hands folded in front of him to face his beautiful bride.

The bride in question had just appeared, her arm loosely linked with Henry's, whose chest puffed up proudly as he walked his daughter down the aisle.

Flora looked absolutely gorgeous. Her dress hugged her body in all the right places and it flowed to the ground into a beautiful, long skirt. The bodice was somewhat sheer and decorated with flowers. A band in her hair held the same white roses that were scattered along the room, only smaller. She really had grown into a beautiful person, Jamie realized. Blossomed like a flower. She felt oddly proud, but weirdly, also a little sad.

When Flora passed by her row of chairs, she briefly glanced at Jamie, who winked at her with a smile. Like the night before, she wondered if Flora did remember what had happened all those years ago. Even though it was impossible, as she had already been told that the kids couldn't recall anything. Maybe, somewhere deep down.

When the bride and groom had joined together at the altar, the officiant opened his arms into a welcoming gesture and began speaking.

"Welcome, family, friends and loved ones. We gather here today to celebrate the wedding of Olivia and Jack. You have come here to share in this formal commitment they make to one another, to offer your love and support to this union, and to allow Olivia and Jack to start their married life together surrounded by the people dearest and most important to them." He let the silence ring on for a while for dramatic effect, the only sound in the room being the soft sounds of people shifting in their seats or coughing.

"So welcome to one and all, who have traveled from near and far. Olivia and Jack thank you for your presence here today and now ask for your blessing, encouragement, and lifelong support, for their decision to be married."

Jamie felt a weird coldness creep into her throat. It was as if she was standing outside again, looking in through a window at this beautiful occasion. But she realized with horror that instead of feeling glad, or supportive, she just felt loathing at the officiant's words. An intense jealousy of the young couple's happiness, the contentedness that filled the room. She tried to shake the thought away, trying really hard, for Flora. But she couldn't.

The officiant continued.

"Marriage is perhaps the greatest and most challenging adventure of human relationships. No ceremony can create your marriage; only you can do that—through love and patience; through dedication and perseverance; through talking and listening, helping and supporting and believing in each other; through tenderness and laughter; through learning to forgive, learning to appreciate your differences, and by learning to make the important things matter, and to let go of the rest. What this ceremony can do is to witness and affirm the choice you make to stand together as life mates and partners. Until death does you part."

It felt like Jamie's ears were ringing. This wasn't right. It shouldn't be Flora who was getting married up there. It should be her. Her and Dani. _She_ should be looking at her wife like she was the most beautiful thing on this planet, not Jack. This was all wrong. Bitter resentment pooled in her stomach and she tried to push it away, but instead it enveloped her. It became her. Suddenly she found it quite hard to breathe normally.

Her vision swam and like a flash, her brain was filled with a haunting image of a blonde woman in a deep red dress, her blue eyes staring into nothingness forever as her golden earrings and her hair softly swayed with the currents of the lake.

Jamie leaned forward with a gasp, grabbing onto the chair in front of her like her life depended on it. She breathed heavily, her knuckles turning white. Owen immediately leaned towards her, his eyes worried. "You good?" He whispered, barely audible.

Jamie shook her head, feeling like she might be sick. How much champagne had she had again? She needed to get out of here.

With a loud scraping that filled the entire room for a second, the woman got up out of her chair. Many people looked up at her angrily, probably wondering what in the world she was doing, interrupting a wedding ceremony like this. Even little Flora eyed at her with a swift look of concern as Jamie stormed down the aisle and through the two doors.

* * *

Muttering to herself anxiously, Jamie wandered through the wedding venue like a lost child. She wanted to get away, disappear from this wretched party. Guilt and anger swirled inside her, like a horrible cocktail. Eventually, she turned to a restroom, shutting the door behind her with a loud bang. The fancy looking bathroom luckily was deserted and the woman hurriedly walked over towards the sink, turning on the faucet and letting the cold water envelop her shaking hands for a bit, her eyes closed.

"You pathetic idiot." She whispered, hating herself for what she was feeling. "Can't even let someone else be happy, huh?"

She sniffled softly as she felt tears sting in her eyes. It just wasn't fair. None of it.

After a while, she turned off the faucet and dried her hands. Feeling that she had calmed down a bit, she swiveled around to face herself in the mirror. Her greying hair fell over her shoulder as she turned her head to check if she still looked okay.

Her face was pale and her eyes big and watery and her nose was kind of red. She stared at herself for a minute, resenting what she had done. After staring long enough at herself to be a little creeped out, just as she had turned around to leave, she glimpsed something in the mirror from the side of her eye. Something red.

Circling around again, her breathing hitched at what she saw in front of her.

A blonde woman was staring back at her through the mirror. A woman wearing a red dress and gold earrings. Jamie quickly glanced behind her, but the room was empty.

As she stared, Dani's face seemed too perfect, too beautiful. Like a porcelain doll. Noticing Jamie looking at her, the corners of her mouth slowly turned up into a soft smile as their eyes connected.

The other woman's heart beat loudly in her throat, her eyes absolutely glued to the mirror and to her late wife's face.

"Dani?" She whispered almost inaudibly. The woman in red nodded and brought her hand up to touch the mirror. It went flat as it hit the surface and Jamie could count the small lines and veins on her palm.

"But…how?" She wondered aloud, feeling like she might have finally lost it. As if attracted by a magnet, she shuffled forward, leaning closer into the mirror. The image of the other woman didn't falter, just smiled at her, unchanging.

Slowly, Jamie brought her hand up and laid it flat against the mirror, against Dani's. The cold surface of the glass stung her skin slightly, but it felt kind of nice. Just as she was about to open her mouth to say something else, a few things happened at once.

Firstly, the toilet door swung open with a loud bang and Owen rushed in, looking somewhat out of breath as if he had been searching frantically for her. Secondly, as if scared off by the sound, Dani's image flickered like a ripple in the water. Her hand still pressed firmly against the mirror, Jamie shouted.

"No!"

She felt panic rise inside at the thought of Dani being gone again. Please, not again.

Then, something even stranger happened. A light started to appear around their connected hands, as if someone was drawing their outline with a pen, only the light was brighter than a million suns. Jamie felt the sides of her hand hurt as the outline felt burning hot, but found that she could no longer remove it from the flat surface of the mirror. She stood there as if her hand was glued to it, her eyes unblinking as she stared at the beautiful image of her wife, Owen long forgotten.

"Jamie, what-" his voice started, but Jamie would never hear the rest of it as she felt the entire world around her fold up, turning to black and experiencing a weird tugging sensation around her stomach area. Then, the light was back, brighter than ever until it engulfed her, until there was nothing left but burning, bright light. It almost became too much to bear, but Jamie held on to the thought of her beautiful lady in red as the light enveloped her, seeming to have crawled into her skin. She could barely see anything as she started to feel a falling sensation, a shift in gravity, and she hurriedly pressed her eyes closed.

Feeling as if she was falling for a long time, Jamie wondered if she had died. Maybe this was the afterlife? She still had her eyes closed, but felt a warmth around her she had never felt before. If this was death, it wasn't as bad. Maybe even peaceful. She could get used to this.

Just as sudden as it had come, however, the falling stopped. It felt very disorienting, as Jamie seemed to have landed and she immediately prepared her body for some sort of impact. However, it never came. Instead, she opened her eyes slowly to the bright blue sky above her. She was laying on the ground, yellow and orange leaves scattered on the floor and touching her hands and bare feet. Trees stood all around her, their impressive color schemes taking her breath away for a second. She heaved herself up, her hands slightly slipping on the somewhat damp forest floor. As she stood upright, she was finally able to look around properly and let out a soft gasp as she realized where she was. Having worked these grounds for years, she immediately recognized them without a problem. _Bly._

Not really understanding what had happened and how she got here, Jamie looked down at her own hands and frowned. They looked different. Less wrinkled, her skin was fair and undamaged, although a little dirty from the forest floor. She brought them up to feel her straightened grey hair but instead felt curls jutting out to all different sides. Her old curls, she had had when she was younger. Looking down, she noticed she was wearing some rugged dungarees she had owned and then thrown away a long time ago.

She felt something heavy in her pockets and dug into them, her hand bumping into the familiar form of her iPhone. Taking it out, she tried to turn it on, but the battery seemed to have died. This was the strangest sensation she had felt in a long while. And it all seemed way too real to be a dream.

She walked around for a bit, thinking. This was a dream though, right? Maybe she had hit her head, or drank too much. It must be. No other explanation possible. So how would she get out of it?

Realizing she had never been conscious during a dream like this, she had no idea how to wake herself up from inside it. Not really knowing what else to do, she started following her usual path, slowly making the trek towards the familiar manor. The floor was wet and cold on her bare feet but she was used to the hardships of weather and bore it without even thinking about it. The nature that surrounded her gave her a strange sense of melancholy. It was as if she had never taken the time to see how beautiful it had been when she had lived here and tended to Bly's grounds for all these years.

After hiking for a while, she saw the manor doom up from behind the trees and bushes and swallowed heavily. She hadn't been here in such a long while, had tried to not think about this place for years. And now she was suddenly back.

The grounds seemed untouched, as if time had stood still. The dawn had made the grass wet and as Jamie trod forwards, the glass blades bended under her weight. She crossed the lengthy driveway, quickly glancing at the church building as she passed by.

It seemed deserted and the lights weren't on. She thought about Hannah, always bustling about inside it with her candles, with a sad smile. As she made her way up towards the front door of the manor, her feet left behind muddy footprints and she shuddered at the thought of another person who kept dirtying the floors of Bly Manor.

When she finally stood in front of the big front doors of the mansion, she felt kind of silly for approaching it like some scary evil castle. It used to be her home, after all.

She stepped forward and used one of the knockers to knock on the door, the sound ringing through the expensive, weathered wood. After waiting a while, no reaction came and she narrowed her eyes, carefully trying the door. To her surprise, it was unlocked. With a loud creaking, the door opened and Jamie peeked inside. It was dark, the little light that came in through the windows only illuminating small parts of the giant entrance hall. It didn't look anything like how she remembered it. The halls were empty, all the furniture was gone and there was dust everywhere. It seemed that no one had been here in a really, really long time and the mansion had been forgotten with time. Wiping her feet on the carpet, Jamie entered, the door falling closed behind her. "Hello?" Her younger voice echoed through the house, and she was somewhat startled by the sound of it. No reply followed.

Suddenly, she had the weird sensation that someone was watching her and she quickly turned around, but no one was there. She stood in the entrance hall for a while, reflecting on what had transpired in this house. Not really feeling like she could handle going any further inside, she went to open the door back up again to leave, but her foot bumped into something laying on the floor she hadn't noticed before. Bowing down, she picked it up and realized it was an old, yellowing newspaper. Not recognizing the front page or the articles, she went to look at the date. "4th of July, 2000." She read aloud, her voice ringing once again through the hall.

Realization hit her, for this particular date was etched into her mind, and she dropped the paper with a soft yelp. "No. Not this day." Jamie whispered, her hands trembling as she opened the door again and started running, apparently having a goal in mind. She almost flew across the grounds of Bly, seemingly so eager to reach her destination that it didn't matter that her sides hurt and her breathing was ragged.

Her whole body ached as she arrived at the lake and she combed her hands through her hair stressfully. It looked just like she remembered it. The water was gently lapping against the shore, being slightly stirred by the wind. It would almost be calming, and beautiful, had it not been for the horrible memories and events that unfolded here. A soft rain was making small circles appear on the water's surface and slowly soaking Jamie's clothes.

Knowing what she had to do, each of her steps felt heavier as she marched towards the lake, and eventually into the water. The coldness enveloped her to the bone, but she kept going until she no longer could stand and had to swim to be able to continue. Dreading what was to come, she took a deep breath and gently dove underwater. When she was under far enough, slowly, regrettably, she opened her eyes and there, she saw her. Just like she had the first time this happened, on July 4th, 2000. Her lady in the lake.

Dani's eyes stared out front, unblinking in the somewhat dirty water. Her hair was framing her face beautifully, hauntingly. With a numb expression on her face, she just stared into nothingness.

At this familiar, horrible sight, Jamie screamed, her lungs quickly filling up with water. Not again. She couldn't do this again, see this again. She shrieked out loud, cried, yelled at the unfairness of it all. Bitter resentment and heartbreak that had been locked away deep inside spilled out of her like a broken water balloon. She raged and bawled until all the oxygen in her lungs was gone and she could only sniff slightly. Why? Why? Take me with you. Please.

Finding the smallest bit of energy left within, she swam closer and managed to grab Dani's hand. She pulled on it, but her strength failed her. Her air was gone, she had been under the water for too long, but she didn't care. Choking, she pulled and pulled on her wife's arm until she could no longer feel her own fingers. She begged and begged, her salty tears mixing with the lake water as she suffocated. She was only vaguely aware that she was going to drown.

What did it matter? She knew what life was like without Dani. It was nothing. An empty, lonely dark hole. She could stay here. Die here. Be with her forever. That would be better. As she was gasping for air, her vision began to become blurry, but she didn't let go of Dani's hand. She would let it take her. Her vision faded to black and she felt herself sinking towards the bottom of the lake, feeling the grass growing there tickle her arms and legs. Feeling Dani's wedding ring, still on her lover's hand, pressing into her skin.

It would have been a sight, the two of them, drifting there at the bottom of the lake, Jamie thought. A beautiful, yet haunting sight. She pulled herself closer to Dani, willing herself to become one with her. As her consciousness faded, she smiled. "I'm here." She thought, willing it to be. She couldn't change time, but she could be with her in this moment. Maybe that was enough. It felt oddly good, drifting here next to her Dani. Peaceful. Almost magical.

* * *

_Now, arguably, many people say magic doesn't exist. They try to explain everything away with science and logic. It's not logical, after all, magic. It's not real. Too mysterious, too supernatural to be explained or understood. No, instead, people believe in the routine of living their life, maybe finding their person, building a family, losing that family, dying from old age. Eventually, that's what life is all about, isn't it? Being born. Loving. Losing. Grieving. Dying. The circle of life. A destiny, already written out for each person who is born in this world._

_But what is love, if not the pure definition of magic?_

_A feeling so powerful, it can conquer wars, conquer worlds. Give meaning to lives, destroy lives. Wreck people. Save people. Love is what runs the world. And a little bit of love can, if you look right, make something extraordinary happen. Something magical, if you must say._

_Magic exists. Who can doubt it, when there are rainbows and wildflowers, the music of the wind and the silence of the stars? Anyone who has loved has been touched by magic. It is such a simple and such an extraordinary part of the lives we live._

_Jamie's love for Dani filled up her entire being. She radiated it. She breathed it. Even after Dani had been long gone. She loved her through all these lonely years, never forgetting her beautiful sacrifice. And that love had to mean something. In fact, it did mean something._

_It meant so much that on that fateful day in July, love allowed the winds of time to turn back. To change._

Jamie let out a gasp of air as she awoke with a start, the images of her latest nightmare flashing back to her. "So it was a dream." She thought, feeling a little relieved she didn't actually go back in time and drown herself in a lake. That would have been embarrassing, to say the least. She slightly relaxed underneath the bed sheets, but then suddenly tensed again. She didn't sleep in beds anymore. Not since…

Feeling extremely confused, she pushed herself up to take a look at where she was. Her eyes slowly adjusted to the lack of light and she realized with horror that she recognized those walls and that window very well. Somehow, she had ended up in her old apartment. _Their_ old apartment. Waking up alone, just like she had the night that Dani had left her forever. Realizing that apparently, the nightmare wasn't over, Jamie let herself sink back into the mattress and rubbed her cheeks and eyes, willing herself to wake up. When she didn't, she cursed under her breath and slapped the mattress angrily with her flat hand. She had dreamt about stuff like this before, so it wasn't completely unexpected, but it just felt so real. To be all alone, reliving her worst memories. Great.

What she really hadn't expected however, was to feel someone stirring in the bed next to her.

Her eyes snapped sideways, looking at the lump under the duvet beside her, horrified. What appeared from underneath was a slender hand, familiar fair skin being complimented by the darkness of the sheets, reaching out for her. On one of the fingers, a golden ring glittered in the moonlight and Jamie gasped audibly at the sight of it. Hands trembling, she pulled down the sheets slightly, revealing a head of blonde hair sprawled across the pillow. Dani was sleeping soundlessly beside her, her hand now having closed around Jamie's thumb. The dreaming woman's cheeks were flushed and her lips were slightly parted.

Jamie's breath hitched and she closed her eyes briefly. "What the f-"

This all felt so genuinely real and she almost couldn't deal with the reality that this was actually not real at all and that when she would wake up, all she would be able to think about was this moment, recognizing it had all been a dream and being broken all over again. However, she decided to bask in the moment that was given to her, for now. Enjoy the time she got. Dani had never appeared in her dreams before, at least, not alive.

So, the woman shuffled down again, getting comfortable under the covers and turned to lay on her side, looking at her wife with endearing eyes. She moved a little closer, wrapping her arm around Dani protectively and just...looked at her, observing all the small details she missed so much every day. For a long time, she fought to stay awake, wanting to have the most amount of time possible to take this all in. Her eyes burned, but she didn't care. She must have stayed awake for hours before finally dropping off to sleep herself, her other arm folder behind her head. Their soft breathing was the only sound in the room as the stars glittered in the night sky and eventually made way for the rising sun. Both women slept better that night than they had in a very long time.

Dani was the first to wake up, stirring slightly. She felt the heavy weight of her lover's arm around her waist and smiled, enjoying the moment. This was the best part of her day, she realized. Waking up with Jamie next to her. Not alone and scared anymore.

As she turned to lay on her back, she felt a weird sensation come over her, unlike anything she had felt for 13 years. It was almost like...her body was filled with a warm sun. Comfortable, peaceful. A very strange feeling, indeed. She hadn't felt very good the past weeks, but now she seemed different, better.

She thought about what had happened but a few days before, recalling herself filling up the bathtub and staring at her own reflection for hours until the water overflowed and she was shivering from the cold, still staring. However, it hadn't really been her own reflection she had been staring at, had it? Her reflection had been long gone, for years now. Instead, she would stare at the faceless woman, The Lady from the Lake, that had haunted her for over a decade. Thinking about her now, she searched for the feeling of dread and anxiety that would eventually settle in as her body woke up, but it never came. The emptiness didn't swallow her this morning. Feeling slightly freaked out by this, she brought her hand up to shake the other woman awake. Her wife startled, letting out a soft moan as she opened her eyes.

Jamie woke up feeling confused and almost immediately remembered the several weird dreams she had that night. Before she could pay them any mind though, she had opened her eyes and was utterly shocked at the sight in front of her. The same Dani she had seen last night in her dreams was staring at her with two sleepy blue eyes, her hair sticking out to the side a little bit. Seeing that her partner had awoken now, she leaned in closer to cuddle into her and whispered. "Hey, Jaims, I feel a bit weird."

Jaime instinctively pushed the blonde away, feeling herself freak out. "What the fuck is happening?" She muttered under her breath, unable to process the events unfolding in front of her and looking around for a clue frantically.

"Hmmm, what?" Dani whispered in return, more awake now and equally confused. She reached out to grab Jamie's hand, but the other woman quickly pulled it away.

"I don't understand. Why did I not wake up yet? You think this is _funny_ or somethin'?" Jamie's angry muttering filled up the room as she sat up and looked up towards the ceiling as if she was speaking to it.

The other woman sat up too, following her wife's gaze as if the answer was there, written out on the ceiling. "I'm confused?" She eyed her wife again and noticed she looked quite tired and her eyes were actually bloodshot. She reached out. "Hey, are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay!" Jamie shouted, hurriedly pushing the bedsheet off of her and getting up from the bed as if she had been stung by a bee.

Dani tried really hard to understand, and even tilted her head as if that would allow her brain to work better. "What happened? Did you have a nightmare or somethin'?"

Letting out a pained laugh, Jamie rubbed her forehead and pulled her hands through her hair. "A nightmare? You could say that." She looked at the other woman, who was sitting on the bed, looking a bit like a mess with one of the straps of her pyjama shirt having slipped down her arm. "It seems like I can't wake up from it, in fact."

"Okay, well, I don't know much about sleepwalking, but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to have a full blown conversation during it." The blonde deadpanned, trying to make a joke. When Jamie didn't laugh, she shuffled towards her. "Look, I don't know what's happening, but I'm here." She grabbed the other woman's wrists, pulling her closer.

The brunette sighed, feeling her heart break all over again as her skin made contact with Dani's. "That's the problem. You _shouldn't_ be." Her voice was strained with emotions, barely keeping it together. She refused to look her wife directly in the eye, instead opting to stare at the wall beside her.

"What does that mean?" Dani said, not understanding. "You want me to leave?" Her voice sounded disappointed and the grip on her significant other's wrists loosened.

"No!" Jamie shouted uncharacteristically, closing her eyes, immediately regretting having raised her voice as the other woman had immediately tensed. She continued in a calmer tone. "No...I just...I need a minute. I...I will try to explain."

_Now, the young gardener really wasn't sure if she was dreaming anymore and absolutely didn't know what to do with that information. Also, she definitely had no idea how to even begin to explain what she was experiencing. Then again, it couldn't hurt to try because this was all not real anyway. All this could be was a sick joke, played on her by the universe to give her one last kick when she was already down. Or something._

She sat down next to Dani, crossing her legs, and took a deep breath. "What day and year is it?"

"Uh, the 5th of July, 2000?" The other woman replied, furrowing her brows, not understanding what that had to do with anything. "I don't..."

Jamie chuckled, looking a little unhinged. "The 5th…" She combed her hands through her hair again. "Now, _that_...that makes no sense."

Dani grabbed her hand, and thankfully, this time, her wife didn't pull away. "Sweetheart, what do you mean?" It was confusing to see her significant other behave this way and she was really trying her best to understand.

"I…" Jamie racked her brain, trying to find a way to clarify this without sounding absolutely crazy. "Look, I'm 45 years old, Dani. The last time I saw a calendar, it was 2007." Okay, yeah, that made no sense. She was silent for a while, gathering her thoughts with her eyes closed. "I don't know how I'm back here. It can't be the 5th of July. This isn't possible...because...you…" She cleared her throat nervously, almost unable to say the next words out loud. She finally looked her late wife in the eyes, almost drowning in their beautiful blue. "Dani, you died on the 4th of July, 2000."


	2. gone

_ Jamie’s memories _

_ Saturday, 1st of July 2000: Burlington, Vermont. _

The mid-afternoon summer air was filled with excited chatter, its source quickly apparent as a long queue of people filled up the pavement in front of the City Hall of Burlington. The off-white building was surrounded by a tranquil park full of green, vibrant trees and beautiful flora, which now served as the temporary holding place for a celebration. 

The crowd was filled with all sorts of interesting folk, many of which seemed to know each other or at least be very outwardly friendly with their queue neighbours. Conversation flowed freely, and if one listened in closely, not a single negative word could be heard.

Small rainbow flags were held in several hands, swaying somewhat in the wind. Some of the people present were wearing fancy clothes, befitting for a party.

Among them stood a small brunette, wearing a brown coat, a soft flowing blouse and sporting big worker boots. An envelope was clutched in her hands and she seemed to be holding onto it rather nervously, unclenching and clenching her fingers around it as she waited. Realizing once again, she wasn’t a big fan of crowds, she looked around the park surrounding the Hall, pointing out some of the flowers and plants she recognised. This seemed to calm her down. 

“Hey, you know this is supposed to be a day of celebration, right?” A man dressed in an expensive looking suit who was standing behind the woman interrupted her thoughts as he spoke up. He had half long black hair and sported an elegant looking moustache. “You seem nervous. Do you need help?” 

Jamie turned around to face the man and noticed he was casually holding hands with another man, wearing similar fancy clothes, though he seemed a little less ‘flamboyant’. The woman chuckled in response to his question.

“No, I’m fine. I just didn’t expect so many people to show up. Crowds are not my favorite. Especially when I’m alone.” 

“Understandable. Well, you’re not alone, we’re here.” The man smiled emphatically. His eyes went over the envelope with a curious look. “Are you here for the partnership, or something completely different?”

“No, yeah, the...civil union.” Jamie smiled as she said it out loud, still feeling a little out of her mind that this was actually happening. She noticed both men seemed to be looking around for her ‘partner’ now, after she mentioned the union. “My wife stayed home. She was very tired today. But I didn’t want to wait a day longer.” She explained. 

“I see. I felt the same. We’ve been together for 20 years, but today is finally the day we will be sharing the same last name. We didn’t want to wait either.” They laughed. “My name’s David, by the way. And he’s called Thomas.” David held out his free hand for the woman to shake. Jamie grabbed it firmly with a smile and closed her eyes slightly as she looked into the sun. “Jamie. We’ve been together for 13. My partner’s called Danielle, but she prefers Dani.” 

The men beamed at her as the woman seemed to light up a little as she mentioned her significant other. “Sounds delightful. We would have loved to meet her.”

“Yeah, well, she’s...sick. So, she gets tired a lot.” Jamie wanted to get away from this subject as soon as she could, not really feeling like sharing Dani’s struggles with strangers, and also not really knowing how to explain them either.

“Oh?” She immediately sensed David wanted to know more but didn’t give in. Instead, she looked around at the crowd again, a little awkwardly. “This is taking so bloody long. There’s a lot more people like us than I realised. Guess we’re all making hay while the sun shines.” A mixture of annoyance and pride were present in the woman’s voice.

David and Thomas chuckled at her accent. “Where are you from? You don’t sound American.”

“Me? Oh, from London. Well, originally more northern, but we generally don’t like to talk about that.” The woman answered, laughing in return. She was glad she was able to derive the conversation away from her wife’s illness.

“So, how did you end up here, then?” The other man, Thomas spoke up now, his voice much softer and calmer than his counterpart.

The woman made an explaining gesture. “Dani’s from here. The US, I mean. We travelled here after we met in Britain in 1987. It took us a while to get to Vermont, we adventured around a bit, but when we arrived, we decided we didn’t want to leave. Been here for 12 years now.” Jamie smiled at the direct stream of happy memories that filled her mind. “Good decision, if you ask me. Who knew Vermont would be the first place we would be able to...you know? Sounds like destiny, almost.”

David and Thomas looked at each other and then back at Jamie. “That is the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.” David whispered admiringly. 

Jamie shrugged and chuckled somewhat embarrassedly. “I guess I love her. Quite a lot.”

It felt kind of nice to share this moment with them, knowing she wouldn’t be judged. She was looking forward to this being the new normal, maybe not today or tomorrow, but someday in the future. Surely, one day, all the obnoxious people would realise that it didn’t really matter who you loved, that just the ‘loving’ part was enough? She hoped so. It did not seem like such a difficult thing to grasp, she thought. 

Because of this feeling of non-judgement, she decided to be bold, something she rarely did. “Look, you two seem like nice guys. I know I may look a bit sour on the outside, my wife’s more the people person, anyway. But, maybe, we could talk more about this over dinner or somethin’? We haven’t met a lot of new people since we’ve been here. Especially people like us.” 

A very genuine smile appeared on both men’s faces, recognising that she was obviously out of her comfort zone, but trying. “That would be lovely.”

Relieved that she hadn’t been weird, Jamie dug into her pocket and pulled out a business card. “We own the flower shop down the road. The Leafling.” She handed the pink card to David, who put it in his wallet. The man laughed. “Lesbians that own a flower shop. Splendid.” 

The brunette chuckled at his wording. “You don’t know the half of it.”

They waited for a long time, but it was not such a bad thing for once. The company was good, not just the couple Jamie had met, but the other people too. Stories were shared and even though she stayed silent for the most part, the brunette felt a very strange sense of belonging, something she had never experienced before. Part of her wished Dani could have been here to share it with her, and she decided the least thing she could do was tell her wife everything about the day in detail, so she took it and all the people in to the best of her ability, enjoying every last bit. Eventually, the queue started to become shorter and the crowds began to thin, until, finally, when the sun was almost setting, it was Jamie’s turn to make her way towards the front desk. 

A tall woman with short blonde hair was sitting behind it, glasses, which had slightly slipped down, perched on her nose. She looked somewhat flushed, or tired, Jamie guessed, as she smiled at her next customer, which happened to be the short brunette. 

“Good afternoon. How can I help you today?” 

Jamie shuffled forward and put down the now somewhat ruffled envelope. She cursed herself for fiddling with it nervously all day and hoped the papers inside hadn’t been damaged. “Uhm, well, my partner and I want to apply for a civil union. These are the papers we signed.” She poked the envelope towards her slightly with her finger. 

The woman grinned at her. “Alright, I’ll take a look.” 

A bit impatient, Jamie watched as the blonde started rifling through the papers, which were scattered with her and Dani’s handwriting and signatures. She seemed to be taking her time with it. Suddenly, the brunette felt a slight feeling of panic that maybe it would get declined and she would have to go home bearing bad news. Why else was it taking so long? She felt her palms grow sweaty and hurriedly wiped them on her pants, looking around nervously. The minutes seemed to tick away and the brunette wished the lady would just hurry up already, even if it did turn out to be declined.

“This seems to all be in order.” The other woman’s words set off fireworks in Jamie’s chest and they exploded even further when she brought her pen down to sign their union, making it officially official. She clutched the now signed papers in her hands as she left the building, and she couldn’t help but feel excited butterflies in her stomach, although the outside world would be none the wiser. The long wait had been worth it, for her last name was now Clayton and Dani Clayton was her wife. 

_ Present _

_ Wed, 5th of July 2000: Burlington, Vermont, Clayton Residence. _

_ "Dani, you died on the 4th of July, 2000." _

Dani searched Jamie’s face frantically for a glimpse of a smile, a sign that she was joking, even though this whole situation was not funny at all, to convince herself that her wife couldn’t be serious. When it didn’t come, the blonde cleared her throat and shook her head, chuckling dryly.

“Must have been one hell of a nightmare.” 

The other woman sighed, slumping down on the bed, feeling defeated. “I know it sounds absolutely mental, but it’s true. I just...I don’t understand why I’m back here. And how is it not the same as the first time around?” She scratched her head, confused as she looked up at the white ceiling. 

“Well, maybe you dreamt that I died and it seemed so realistic that you can’t really tell the truth from the dream. “ Dani offered carefully. “I’ve had dreams like that before.” 

“Have you ever heard of someone dreaming over the span of about... 7 years?” Jamie laughed sarcastically, the years of pain described evident in her voice. “No. I went to your funeral. And I closed down the shop. Moved out of Vermont. And then I….I was at Flora’s wedding when…” She tried very hard to recall what had happened in the bathroom at said wedding, but it was a bit foggy. Weird.

“Flora got married? She’s like 20! That’s way too young.” Dani muttered in jokingly, still feeling like her wife might eventually snap out of whatever this was, hopefully soon.

“Well, 27 actually.” Jamie corrected absent-mindedly. She was thinking of a way to convince her significant other that she hadn’t gone absolutely bonkers, all the while dealing with the fact that her wife was actually still alive, sitting in front of her and in the process, her whole brain had become mush. Had she gone insane? Possibly. 

Dani looked at the other woman’s pained and confused expression and made a decision. “Okay, well. Let’s get you to eat something. Maybe that will clear it up.” She slapped Jamie’s knee bare to get her to stand up. “I’ll make you some coffee.” 

The brunette hurriedly got up, still feeling extremely freaked out whenever Dani touched her. “No, please don’t do that. I’ll make it myself. You might have risen from the dead, but I bet your coffee is still shite.” 

Dani let out a genuine laugh and the other woman almost wanted to cry at how beautiful the sound was and how much she had missed it. She felt the immediate need to turn around to make sure she wouldn’t, because that would be embarrassing.

“Maybe put some pants on.” The blonde chirped up and Jamie could hear her getting off of the bed. Before she knew it, she felt arms wrap around her from behind and she staggered, wanting to melt into the embrace so badly but not risking getting hurt again when the dream, or whatever this was, would end. She couldn’t give in, what if that was what made her wake up?

She could feel Dani’s breath on the back of her neck as she chuckled. “Or don’t. I like you better without pants.”

Blushing slightly, the brunette managed to wiggle herself free and she rubbed her forehead awkwardly. “Coffee, you said?” Feeling extra aware now of her pants-less state, she looked around the room and found a pair of dungarees, lazily hung over a chair, so she quickly slipped into them. 

Jamie stood at the kitchen counter, her back faced towards Dani who was sitting at the table, drumming her fingers on the surface somewhat absent mindedly. The noise of the coffee machine made the silence less heavy, but the brunette could still feel her wife’s eyes burning in the back of her head, waiting for her to say something. It was quite strange to be back in their old apartment, surrounded by all the familiar, but now also foreign furniture. Bizarre to be making coffee in this kitchen again. A loud beep interrupted Jamie’s thoughts as the machine announced that it was done and she shuffled towards it. She grabbed both cups and set one of them down in front of Dani, holding onto the other one with both hands, which were shaking a little bit, making the liquid ripple slightly. 

They sat opposite each other and Jamie didn’t understand why it was suddenly so awkward. They had been together for 13 years before Dani’s death and every day since then she had wished for just another moment with her wife, but now she suddenly felt at loss for what to say. 

Dani was watching her with two attentive blue eyes and something seemed off about that to Jamie, but she couldn’t exactly point out what. 

“So, how did I die? In your dream?” The blonde spoke up quite suddenly, catching Jamie somewhat off-guard with the question.

“Oh...you uh…you know...” Jamie tried, but she looked away, the memories too painful to even begin to explain them out loud. She swallowed hard.

Dani was smart enough to be able to fill in the blanks herself. “It was her, wasn’t it? She killed me.” The blonde woman spoke as if she wasn’t at all fazed by this, laying it down more like it was fact. Like she knew that had always been her eventual fate. Her voice was soft and she looked very small. “I know she did. She shows me that kind of stuff sometimes, you know?” 

The brunette carefully sipped her coffee, burning her tongue a little bit and cursing softly. Dani seemed to have shrunk in her seat at the direction the conversation was going, but she had brought it up herself, so Jamie figured it was okay to press on. “What kind of stuff?” 

“Just, like visions, I guess?” The other woman thought for a bit, her tone vague. “It’s like dreams but, when you’re awake.” The blonde had tried to mention the visions before, but never went into much detail, because they were really confusing most of the time, anyway. Now, she felt they were both coming clean about some stuff, so it seemed like the right time to mention them again. 

“Is it bad?” Jamie asked, genuinely interested but also a bit disturbed. 

The other woman sniffled. “Not really. Sometimes she shows me things I’ve never seen before and which seem really...faded, almost like they’re someone else’s memories. Those are actually pretty nice, I guess.” 

The brunette put her cup down on the table. “Maybe they’re hers? She could have been a person once, before she….you know, lost her face and everything.” 

“Maybe....” Dani thought back to what happened a few days ago, when she had stared at the lady’s featureless face for hours and how horrible and empty she had felt back then, surrounded by the cold water, especially compared to now. “Speaking of her…” She put down her cup as well. “I don’t feel her at all, today.” 

Jamie furrowed her brow, confused. “What do you mean?” 

“Well, like I said…” Dani swallowed heavily, staring into her coffee cup. “Most of the time it feels like I’m fading. But...” She looked back up to face her wife. “Today it’s like...like she’s not even there? And I’m clearer than I have been in a long time.” 

“That’s good?” The brunette’s words sounded more like a question than an encouragement. She recalled what Dani’s letter had said with a painful stab and wondered. “So, you’re not feeling like she’s controlling you?” 

“Not at all. I feel like, completely normal?” The blonde didn’t want to allow herself to sound too hopeful. “But, it’s...nothing. Probably just having a good day, that’s all.” 

Jamie nodded and they fell silent again, sipping their coffee. She was trying to make sense of everything, but her head felt like it was filled with cotton. It felt like the resolution, the answer to this sick joke was so close but she just couldn’t grasp it yet. 

On the other side of the table, Dani felt a strange combination of confusion and relaxation. She had bad days which were followed by better days, but they had been nothing compared to what she felt inside now. She vaguely wondered if she should see a doctor about this, but then realised that was absolutely ridiculous and she would probably be in an asylum before she could even say the word ‘possession’. Deciding to just bask in what she got, she closed her eyes as the morning sun shone in her eyes, warming up her face comfortably. 

“I’ll make us some toast.” Jamie cleared her throat awkwardly after realising she had been staring at Dani for a while, and she went on her way to do so. Her thoughts were running wild, like a highway street on which no one knew what direction they were supposed to drive in. It all seemed to be so vaguely connected somehow, her being back here, Dani being alive and not feeling Viola’s presence…

She had turned around to ask Dani what she wanted on her toast when she accidentally dropped the butterknife she had been using on the floor, the loud clattering making both women jump. “Whoops. Sorry.” Jamie chuckled breathlessly and kneeled down to pick it up. Just as her fingers closed around the slippery utensil, Jamie could feel something brush past her leg and another clattering was heard. “Everything is falling!” She exclaimed nervously and went to pick up the other unknown thing that she had dropped. With a shock she recognised the familiar form of her first generation iPhone, the screen slightly cracked now from it hitting the hard kitchen floor. It must have fallen out of her pocket. She hurriedly grabbed it and tried to unlock it, a picture of Dani’s smiling face looking at her from the lockscreen. Then, she noticed something really weird. The numbers of the clock on screen were changing rapidly from one to another and back again, like a broken alarm clock. 

Jamie got up with a confused face by grabbing the counter with her free hand, the phone grasped tightly in her other hand.

“Dani…” She started, catching the other woman’s attention. “Come take a look at this.”

With a chuckle, the blonde got up from her chair, still holding her coffee. “You need some help finding your butterknife?” She walked over to stand beside Jamie, their hips almost touching, and looked at what her wife held in her hand. Her forehead wrinkled up in confusion at the foreign object she was seeing. “Hey, what’s that?”

“This is an iPhone.” Jamie had to grin quietly at how ridiculous she must sound. “It’s a mobile phone.” She further explained. 

“Where’s the keyboard?” Dani asked, her hands moving forward to take the ‘phone’ from her wife. She felt the smooth surface of the back and tapped the one central button the device seemed to have, testing it out. The screen lit up with a picture of herself, and again, the weird, fluctuating numbers. “This is so weird. I’ve never seen a phone like this before. Where did you get this?”

Jamie ran her hands through her hair, once again stumped at finding a way to explain this without sounding crazy. “That’s because it’s not out yet. This phone was released in 2007. One day before Flora’s wedding, in fact. It’s brand new.”

“Oh.” Dani didn’t really know what to do with that information. “What’s happening to the clock?” She pointed at the rapidly changing numbers. “Is that a feature?”

“No. It hasn’t done that before.” The brunette muttered and scratched the back off her neck, thinking. “Maybe it has something to do with that fact that I travelled back 7 years in time?

Dani sighed, dropping the phone on the counter, frustrated. “Listen, if this is some elaborate prank, you really put some effort into it, I must say.” She swallowed heavily and looked up to face her wife. “But if it isn’t...this ‘y-phone’ must be a clue or something.” The other woman had to chuckle slightly at the mispronunciation. “Maybe you could try calling someone?”

A small sprinkle of hope that maybe she hadn’t gone insane and her significant other would actually believe her swelled up in Jamie’s chest, and she nodded. “Sure. That’s a great idea.” She grabbed the phone and unlocked it hurriedly, her hands feeling jittery. The colorful app icons appeared on screen and Dani, who was leaning over brunette’s shoulder, looked at them with interest. The other woman tapped the phone book icon and searched for Owen’s name. “I’ll try Owen. He’s the last person I saw before…you know.” Tapping it, she nervously brought the phone to her ear to listen. She was immediately met with a loud dial tone and breathed out, putting it down again. She then also noticed that she didn’t have a signal. “Nope. Signal’s bust.” 

“Damn.” Dani simply commented, visibly disappointed. 

The brunette sighed heavily, feeling discouraged as well, but then an idea popped into her head. “Hey, we took a picture at the wedding! Maybe it’s still on here.” She quickly opened the gallery and was immediately greeted with her older face, and Owen’s, both of them smiling into the camera, as it was the last picture she had taken. “There!” 

She handed the phone to the blonde, whose blue eyes studied the photo for a while, saying nothing. “That’s you?” She eventually said, hovering her finger over older Jamie’s face.

“Yep. My old mug.” Jamie chuckled. 

Dani smiled, though tears were starting to brim in her eyes. “She looks pretty. You look pretty, I mean.” The brunette could see that her wife was really struggling to comprehend everything, which was understandable, giving the circumstances, but she could now see the truth was slowly setting in, painfully so. Carefully, she took the phone from her significant other’s hands and zoomed in on her own hands in the picture. “Look. Still got your ring.” The blonde chuckled tearily in response.

Both of them were silent for a bit.

“Okay, so. Say if I believe you.” The blonde eventually spoke up, even though it seemed to take a lot of energy. “It’s not the first strange thing we have been through. I mean, it sounds insane but...our lives have been kinda insane so far anyway.” 

Jamie looked up in surprise, not expecting her wife to actually believe her. 

Dani continued. “Say you somehow travelled back in time...but that time is nothing like it was the first time. It’s all different and weird. Right?” The brunette nodded to confirm. “That means you somehow changed something, maybe. Or you got a second chance? We did, I mean. I’m obviously not dead.” She chuckled slightly at the ridiculousness of that statement. “So, what changed?” Her eyes connected with Jamie’s in a question, who almost drowned in their beautiful blue, just like she had all those years ago in the garden house of Bly Manor. Wait, two blue eyes?

“Dani, your eyes!” The woman suddenly exclaimed, grabbing her wife’s wrist in surprise.

The blonde blinked confusedly. “My eyes?” 

“They’re blue! Both of them!” Without another word, Jamie hurriedly pulled the blonde along towards the bathroom, which flooded her with nostalgia once again but she pushed the feeling away quickly as she placed her wife in front of the mirror, pointing. “Look!”

Dani was so used to seeing the faceless woman’s expression as her reflection that she was almost startled to see her own face again. What was even more startling was that her tired, somewhat crazy looking eyes were both sparkling blue again. “Huh.” She chuckled, bringing her hand up to touch her own cheek and watching her counterpart do the same.

“You just said it feels like Viola is not there, right?” Jamie’s voice to her right was a few octaves higher from excitement. “What if she’s gone?”

“Gone?” The blonde’s voice audibly cracked and she shook her head, chuckling. “Well, that can’t be. She has always been here. That can’t suddenly change.”

The other woman grabbed her wife’s hands and squeezed them elatedly. “Well, I shouldn’t be here either. I must have done something to get rid of her!” She excitedly rambled on. “Ugh, if only I could remem-” She was interrupted as she felt Dani’s weight lean on her as her wife’s knees had seemingly buckled. “Oh.”

Together, they slid to the floor, Jamie making sure that the other woman didn’t hurt herself as she wrapped her arms around her protectively. “Hey, you alright?”

The blonde’s voice was super small. “She’s g-gone?” 

“I think so,  _ Poppins. _ ” The brunette’s eyes scrunched up a bit as she smiled widely. She brought her hand up to wipe some of Dani’s hair out of her teary eyes. She couldn’t imagine what that realisation must mean for her wife so she gave her a bit of time to process, making sure to rub her arm supportively. 

“Gone.” Dani chuckled dryly, honestly looking a bit unhinged now. Her hands were shaking. “What does that even mean?” 

“I think it means you finally get to live, Dani.” Jamie’s eyes brimmed with tears as well and she hurriedly wiped them away, wanting to be strong and supportive instead of collapsing like she could feel herself slowly doing. “Like you were supposed to.”

The blonde woman fiddled with her trembling hands, staring at them. “But why?” 

“I don’t know. Fate?” The brunette said lamely, chuckling. “I don’t think the why is important. I just think...life’s funny that way. I mean sure, it fucks you over most of the time. But maybe God, or whatever, decided that you deserved this. I sure do.” She squeezed her significant other’s hands. Her heart had broken a little, seeing her wife like this, but she reminded herself that this was a good thing. Heavy, unbelievable, but good. 

Dani sniffled. “God, I don’t even know what to do with that thought.” She softly stroked Jamie’s hand. Her watery blue eyes searched for her wife’s as she cleared her nose noisily, which was slightly red. 

The brunette smiled encouragingly. “I think you just need some time to...you know. Process.” 

Jamie slowly wiped the tears from the blonde’s cheeks with her thumbs. “So do I, to be honest.” She sighed audibly. “I barely even know where to begin. I mean, how would this work? I don’t think there’s a guide on time travelling out there, but if there was, I could really use it.” Both women chuckled softly and were silent for a while, just holding each other, happy in the moment, but thinking hard at the same time. 

“Wait, you know about stuff that’s like going to happen in the future, right?” Dani spoke up after a bit, her voice still a little unsteady. “We could buy a lottery ticket and get rich!” 

Jamie smiled at where her wife’s mind had gone of all places. “I don’t think it works like that. Also, I don’t remember detailed stuff like that. But, I guess you’re right.” The brunette’s eyes narrowed as she thought of things that would happen in the following years to come and suddenly felt a bit overwhelmed. “9/11, for example.” She whispered, realization hitting her like a truck. “Am I supposed to warn people about stuff like that now?” 

“What’s 9/11?” Dani answered softly, looking understandably confused. 

Jamie wanted to explain, but found herself absolutely unable to say it out loud. After trying several times, she gave up. “Huh.” She said, chuckling. “Figures.” 

The other woman looked at her with an understanding frown. “You can’t say it?”

“Nope. Guess God is cruel after all.” The brunette felt frustrated, and definitely made a point to remember that this was something she should try again in the future, but for now, 9/11 was at least a year away, and what mattered was right in front of her. “Nevertheless. We should get up from this floor.” 

Dani nodded and they helped each other up, both feeling weird and giddy. “How about that toast?”

  
  
  



End file.
